For me, writing angry or hurt is like drunk dialing……something that should be avoided at all cost. Don’t worry, I have been writing, just not writing that should be read by anyone….at least not yet.
If there is one thing I have learned over the years is that when I am hurt I tend to lash out and hurt someone else. After all, “hurt people hurt people.”
I am trying to learn from past mistakes, not ditching out.
I need to take some time for myself and figure out some things. I am in a serious spiritual battle, which is not surprising considering the kind of stuff I take on, but it is hard nonetheless.
Just to give you an idea where I am at…..the song Not Ready to Make Nice from the Dixie Chicks is running through my head. Yep, it is not a very spiritual place. I know this. I am trying to come to terms with some things. God and I are battling it out right now. Gee, I wonder who will win?
I know it is a choice to follow God. But, honestly, sometimes I don’t want to. Sometimes I get tired of being a doormat or the poster child for forgiveness. Okay, that last one is more than a stretch, no one would mistake me for the poster child of forgiveness, but I think you get my point.
Following Christ hurts. Following Christ means to live unselfishly. I am a selfish person; this is hard. How’s that for “getting real.”?
Until next time,