Why Is God’s Design for Marriage Not Working?

Is it possible to still have a Biblical Marriage in the world we live in today?

Absolutely.  But it is something you have to work on  EVERYDAY.  The choices we make each and every day have to be purposeful and be directed away from self.

I am going to be really real here…I know God’s design for marriage…..but my marriage most often times does not show it.   It is something I am constantly working on, but it is the area I struggle with the most in my walk with the Lord.  I haven’t mastered this, nowhere near, I am simply a women on a mission to have a biblical marriage.

As we are all aware, God’s true design for marriage is under attack in the United States and beyond.  I am not talking about same-sex marriage and such, I am talking marriage between men and women.  Yes there is a battle with the world, but there is also a battle in the church.  As stated in previous posts, divorce in the church is the same as in the world.  This should not be.  We, Christians,  are called to live differently than the world, and follow God’s design for marriage.

So where’s the problem?  Why is Biblical marriage not working within the church?

1.  We don’t know any better.

Say what?  How is it possible that adults today do not know the true design for marriage?  Well, let me just say, I was well into my 10th year in marriage before I heard it preached from the pulpit.  In the day when “tickling ears” has become the newest rage, it should not be all that surprising that this isn’t really taught in church.  It is a taboo subject.  Women, and it usually is the women, who walk away offended.  Yes, you might hear snippets here or there, but rarely do hear a whole sermon with real life application.  You can tell me all day long to submit, but if you don’t tell or show me what submission looks like, I am not very likely to know what to do.  After all Biblical submission looks a lot different than the world likes to project.

Church leaders, preachers, pastors, teachers, etc. we must equip our people.  All of our people.  Do not start teaching marriage roles when couples are contemplating marriage.  We should be teaching this to our children from the get go.

It is my goal to start some sort of Proverbs 31 Girl group in my church.  After all, how does one become a Proverbs 31 Woman unless she is taught.  It is my goal to bring back the lost art of sewing, cooking, and running a household.

2.  We let the world define marriage.

If we look to the world to determine what a marriage should look like, we are doomed to have a worldly marriage.  Now, I am going to take this from a woman’s point of few because, well, shockingly, I am a woman.

The world will have us believe that a Biblical marriage requires women to be in the kitchen, barefoot and pregnant.  This is not true as I strongly believe you can have a biblical marriage, be a biblical wife and mother, and still hold a full-time job.  If you look closely at Proverbs 31, you will see that the wife does a lot of jobs to help her husband financially.

As a woman, the world tells me I am only valuable if I am out in the world working to make a living.  My worth now comes from what I do outside my household rather than within.  If I am a stay at home mom, then I live in the dark ages and set back the women’s movement by 60 years or so.  I am somehow betraying my female race by choosing to stay at home and raise my family.

I always find it amusing that those who think they are so different from others or on such a crusade for equal rights, don’t realize their propaganda supports everything they say they are against. Your either with us or against us.Now, hear me out.

I choose to stay at home now because, well, I tried working outside my home for 7 years, and I didn’t like it.  Yes, there was a little extra money (but not really because we still ended up spending everything we earned), and there were times of great fulfillment with a job well done.  But there was so much I missed.  For me, nothing compares to the feeling of a smoothly ran household.

The wold tells us that submitting to our husbands means we are inferior to them.  As we discussed earlier in this series, that is not what submitting is at all.  We must educate ourselves and others and let the Bible define our marriages.

3. It’s all about that grace.

Yes, I know I say that a lot; however too many Christians are living on that grace and no longer care to live out the word of God.  No, we don’t have to be obedient to get to heaven, but, hello, if we want the promises of God here on earth, than we best be walking in His ways.  I am tired of hearing people whine about the fact that the Bible doesn’t work.  Hello, it doesn’t work if you don’t live it out!  Trying it once or following this one here and that one there and ignoring the rest, is not going to give you the life you want or the life God wants for you.  Yes, to some degree we all pick and choose.  What I am really saying here is that we need to have a heart for God and want to follow His ways.  Our Christian walk is a constant learning process.  The place I am in now is far different than I was 10 years ago.  I am not anymore saved, but I am a lot more obedient, and a far cry happier.

4.  It is all Adam and Eve’s fault!

I am serious.  It is their fault we are even here in the first place.  But as we are going long today, I don’t have time to give this one the time, space, and attention it deserves, so we will pick up here next time.

God bless,




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