Fifty Shades of……Don’t….Just Don’t


Let me start by saying this is a different version of “Reblog of the Week” as I will be sharing things from multiple blogs as well as my own thoughts and feelings.

Fifty Shades of Grey is now out in theaters.  Millions will see either see this movie or have read the book (and series).  Many, many, of those are Christians, Christian women.  Before we go any further, let me be clear on something: What I am about to say is directed at Christians and Christians only.  I am not addressing the world, I am addressing those who are supposedly following Christ.

God, I pray for open hearts and open minds, because many, many will not want to hear what I am about to say.  Amen!

I am not a prude.  I love sex just as much as any non Christian.  I have been married for 18 years, so I know the need of ways to spice up a marriage.  But ladies (and gentlemen)  Fifty Shades of Grey is not one of those ways.  Why?  Because it is not one of HIS ways!

Let me share a little bit from Charismanews, Why I Am Not Mad About the Fifty Shades of Grey Movie

Jesus was born into a nation occupied by the Romans. He grew up in a devout Jewish household within the lineage of Abraham. While his family was devout, faithful and loyal to God, they were surrounded by an X-rated culture where homosexuality and orgies in bathhouses were common. Landscaping and architecture showcasing genitalia was also common, according to historians.

Sexual corruption penetrated the highest levels of the Jews with King Herod’s illicit affair with a another man’s wife. Yet in this X-rated empire, Jesus didn’t preach one sermon to the Romans. He didn’t launch a picket against the Roman bathhouses or preach against participating in orgies or practicing homosexuality.

Jesus was possessed by the cause of the Father, which was to destroy the works of the devil among the people of God.

“But when people keep on sinning, it shows that they belong to the devil, who has been sinning since the beginning. But the Son of God came to destroy the works of the devil” (1 John 3:8, NLT).

Jesus was captured by the cause of the Father to expose the corruption that crept into the people of God, who had a history of experiencing God’s marvelous works and deliverance. The same people who were delivered from slavery and brought Egypt and Babylon to its knees, were now in bondage to sickness and torment. Where was God, who sent plagues to Egypt and delivered them from slavery?

I’ve often wondered what if the same dollars, focus and energy that Christians put into a campaign against movies were redirected towards funding ministries or churches that moved in healing, setting the people free or empowering them to dismantle the works of darkness? What if we redirected our energies from fighting a worldly movie to fighting for the people of God to experience the freedom, love and relationship with Him?

Instead of being disturbed by Fifty Shades of Grey, I’m disturbed by the sexual immorality and compromise in the church. What keeps me up at night are people who love God but who haven’t experienced God’s healing or provision because of a corrupt religious system. I’m disturbed that most of the church has yet to experience the outpouring of the Holy Spirit that the infant church in the book of Acts had inaugurated.

I’m disturbed by the darkness that my brothers and sisters in Christ still fight in their relationships with Christians committing suicide and getting divorces. I’m mad that my brothers and sisters in the faith are still tormented and harassed by an enemy put under our feet because the church doesn’t cry out for the power of God. I weep when I know the high price Jesus paid for provision, healing and freedom that most Christians don’t experience because of corruption in our own ranks.

I agree with a lot of this.  We should be directing our attention to the Church are willingness to deliberately disobey God.

The only difference: I AM ANGRY!!!!

I am angry that the Church is acting no different from the world.  I am angered when I not only see that my fellow Church-mates have seen this movie/read the book, but are openly advocating it on social media or refuse to acknowledge that it is wrong.  What kind of example does this set?  We are called to live differently.

1 John 2:15-16 (NKJ): Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. 16 For all that is in the world—the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life—is not of the Father but is of the world.

Now, don’t give me that whole “thou shall not judge!”  As I have explained in previous posts, that scripture has been taken clearly out of context.  We are to hold our brothers and sisters in Christ accountable, but we are not to judge those who do not know Christ. 1 Corinthians 5:11-13, is one of the most overlooked scriptures in the Bible.

But now I have written to you not to keep company with anyone named a brother, who is sexually immoral, or covetous, or an idolater, or a reviler, or a drunkard, or an extortioner—not even to eat with such a person. 12 For what have I to do with judging those also who are outside? Do you not judge those who are inside? 13 But those who are outside God judges. Therefore “put away from yourselves the evil person.”

Why is it overlooked?  Because we don’t want to hear it.  We want to hear all about the love, grace and acceptance.  We want all the benefits of Christ but we don’t want Him to inconvenient our lives!

I’m angry.  No, no, I AM GRIEVED.  My heart aches for the Church.  My heart aches for what we are doing to Christ.

Yes, the blood of Jesus covers all sin, including Fifty Shades of Grey.  I am not talking salvation here (although, I may be questioning some of your salvations if you can deliberately go against the word of God without a care in the world.  But that is a discussion for another time); as I believe we are only saved by grace. It is an obedience issue.  Please note that  grace was intended for our salvation (nothing we ever do or don’t do can earn or cost us eternal life) and for all the times we fall short when we are trying to walk this Christian life.  It was not intended for us to live our lives anyway we want and use it as our means into Heaven.

If you love God, then you should want to follow His commandments; you will want to walk in obedience to Him.  Now, I am not saying you’re going to love doing it (God knows sometimes I do things simply because I know it pleases Him), but you will love the peace that comes from following His will.

Yes, it seems I may be a one trick pony as all I talk about is obedience.  I don’t know what to tell you.  It is something God has laid on my heart.

John 14:19-21 (NKJ): “A little while longer and the world will see Me no more, but you will see Me. Because I live, you will live also. 20 At that day you will know that I am in My Father, and you in Me, and I in you. 21 He who has My commandments and keeps them, it is he who loves Me. And he who loves Me will be loved by My Father, and I will love him and manifest Myself to him.”

How is watching/ reading Fifty Shades of Grey in direct disobedience to God?

It is classified as erotic fiction.  It is porn for women!  It causes us to lust.  What does the Bible say about all of this?

Psalm 101:3-4 (NKJ): I will set nothing wicked before my eyes; I hate the work of those who fall away;It shall not cling to me. A perverse heart shall depart from me; I will not know wickedness.

1 Corinthians 6:12-13 (NKJ): 12 All things are lawful for me, but all things are not helpful. All things are lawful for me, but I will not be brought under the power of any. 13 Foods for the stomach and the stomach for foods, but God will destroy both it and them. Now the body is not for sexual immorality but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body.

2 Timothy 2:22 (NKJ): 22 Flee also youthful lusts; but pursue righteousness, faith, love, peace with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart.

Proverbs 6:25 (NKJ): Do not lust after her beauty in your heart,
Nor let her allure you with her eyelids.

The dangers of lustful eyes in stated so well in James.

James 1:14-15 (NKJ): 14 But each one is tempted when he is drawn away by his own desires and enticed. 15 Then, when desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, brings forth death.

Come on people, I can go all day.  There is absolutely “NO GREY” here!

On the Pure Freedom blog, the author brings us a very interesting point.

 I’ve been studying what God says about sexuality for fifteen years. According to Him, there is only one who should stimulate sexual desire in me: my husband. Since that’s God’s plan for my sexual desire, anything other than my husband creating arousal in me would be missing the mark of God’s intention. (Translation: it is sin.) Jesus said it this way: “You have heard that it was said, ‘Do not commit adultery.’ But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” The same is true of a woman looking at or reading about a man.

There-go, reading or watching erotica is sinful.  If we indulge in it, we are deliberately disobeying God!.

She also brings us two other great points:

  • OK, we’re girls. And, sadly, a few of our guys have looked at porn. How’d that work for ya? How’d it make you feel? Did it cross your mind that you could never compare to the perfection created by lights, camera, and Photoshop? Well, he can’t compare to a plasticized, vanilla interpretation of manhood either.

  • Do you know what BDSM is? Bondage, dominance, sadism, and masochism. If you don’t know what those words mean, be glad. If you do know, you should understand that the most damaging part of Fifty Shades of Grey is that God created sex to be a partnership that’s fueled by love and self-giving, not pain and humiliation. It’s not just that this book misuses sex, it redefines it into something evil and transgressive as the lead character dominates in a hurtful manner. How woman can enjoy that, I can’t understand! But I do have a theory. It seems to me that in our emasculating culture there is a hunger so great for strong men that women will stoop to Bondage, dominance, sadism, and masochism for just a taste. Do yourself a favor, don’t!


I would add : how can sex of this nature be of God?  If a person needs to feel or give pain in order to receive sexual gratification, that is not of God.  Often times, perversions of this nature stem from some trouble in childhood or in a person’s early sexual history, which is something a little bit of counseling and a lot of prayer could rectify.  Once again, sex of this nature is not of God.  God gave us sex.  It is to be enjoyable.  Sex in marriage was designed to be enjoyable.  You want more attention from your husband?  Why don’t you turn to Proverbs 31, a pick a few of those ideas.  I think you will find that speaking kindly to and about your husband to other people will improve your sex life a lot more than S&M.

I will admit that I am a selfish person.  I think most women are.  We want our husbands to bend over backward for us, but what lengths are we willing to go for them?  We want our husbands to be our “Prince in Shining Armour,” but are we acting like a princess or treating him as a prince?  We have some how bought into the lie that our husbands are to do most of the work in the marriage, when our Bible clearly states otherwise.  We are so afraid of becoming “submissive” that we have turned into bullies in our own home, expecting our husbands to meet our every need.  That is not the purpose for which we were designed. We were indeed designed to be our husbands’ helpmate.

Anyway, Disobedience may not cost us our salvation, but there are or will be consequences to pay.  Disobedience may cost us our calling.  Look at what happened to Moses.  He was supposed to lead his people to the promised land.  He disobeyed God and Joshua got the honors.  David messed up big time, and while God restored things to David, there were great consequences to be paid.  He lost a child.  His other children were a mess.  His kingdom was a mess.  Consequences.

One of my favorite quotes is from, in which he states:

We are not punished for our sins, but rather by our sins.

Wake up church!  Stop grieving Christ and walk in the ways of the Lord and not the world.  Fifty Shades of Grey may be exciting, it may even perk up your sex life for a bit, but the dangers are far-reaching.  Where will the path of pornography and lust lead you?  If you compromise here today, where will you compromise tomorrow?

Okay, it is time to pluck out the log from my own time.  Confession time, oh goody!

While I made a pack with God long ago not to read Fifty Shades of Grey, lately I have been reading books that aren’t the most Godly.  No, it wasn’t romance or erotic fiction, but these books did nothing for my walk with God.  Here today, I vow to make better choices when it comes to my reading choices as well as my other entertainment choices and avoid books (and movies) of questionable moral value.

Just yesterday, as the need to write this post was growing in my heart, I sat down and watched the movie Best of Me, which is based on Nicholas Sparks’ book of same title.  While the book didn’t cross the line technically, the movie surely does as it is based on  two high school sweetheart reuniting after 21 years.  No, it wasn’t porn.  No, it didn’t show much.  No, it didn’t awaken any desires in me.  But the plot itself was of questionable value.  It was about an affair.  An affair we were supposed to applaud and accept.  Seems much easier to condone adultery when it is the woman committing the sin, huh?  Either way, I paid money to watch a movie that was clearly of the world even when I had misgivings ahead of time.

Should I just accept this of myself.  Should I just let it go?  No, I need to ask for forgiveness and make better choices.  It is really that simple.










5 thoughts on “Fifty Shades of……Don’t….Just Don’t

  1. Thanks for taking the time to write this! I enjoyed it. I agree with a lot of what you say. As a Christian, I definitely believe we need to hold ourselves more accountable. While we should not judge non-Christians by the same high Gospel standards we ourselves try our best to follow (and often fail), there is still space to hold them to universal values. I blogged about how I feel society will be impacted from this film. Feel free to check it out and let me know what you think.

  2. I read the book to see what the hype was about. Everyone kept telling me it was a love story. The first book made me sick to my stomach, I was appalled (I’m 26). So when I started reading the second book- I had to keep reminding myself or the truth. The second book seemed more like a love story. But Hollywood can take awful things, put a pretty bow on it and then add love interest and it makes every thing ok. In the first book, my heart was broken. I picture someone, who is a Virgin, innocent, and she likes a guy. Sex bonds us with that person, I think she didn’t want to lose him so she did awful things (fear:control come to mind) the second book the lady annoys me because the guy wants to change but she tempts him with bits and pieces of his old life. Finally, the third book… At least they are married now, I guess. But I don’t understand. What is and is not ok between two married couples? I could never be bound, and my husband would never want to. Sure, we all might want to be held a little tighter during love making but… Not this. It’s too much. I think it’s important as Christians that we need to remind ourselves of the truth. I too will be blogging and comparing. 🙂

  3. Dear Missy,

    Thank you so much for writing this. It is a message we need to hear.

    I especially love your quote about not being punished FOR our sin but BY our sin. That actually makes so much sense to me. Could you tell me the source of that quote?

    You are in my thankful prayers.

    Keep up the good work!



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