I have a Dream…No, I have a Calling

I fell in love with this song the first time I heard it as it resonated so strongly with my Spirit.  I have always felt a strong calling on my life.  However, part of me wondered if it promoted “too much self.”

You see, one of the hardest things in my Christians walk is balancing the desire to do God’s work and will with the desire to be someone important in God’s Kingdom.  Yes, it is a pride issue.  I must regularly check my motivations to make sure what I am doing is to promote God rather than myself.  On the other hand, I have to be careful not to allow my fear of “self” to stop me from doing what God has called me to do.

It sounds easy enough, and on most days it is; however, sometimes I allow Satan to trip me up via other people’s  opinions.  I have also been stopped by my own self talk.   Things like:

Who does she think she is?

What makes her so special?

Why would God use someone like me?

That can’t be of God, look at where she was just last week!

Wow, she is sure full of herself !

People, and Missy, wake up!  These are the lies of the devil.  We all have a calling.  We all have a job to do.  Let us stop wasting time comparing ourselves with others and start walking the dreams God placed in our hearts.  Your dream.  Not your neighbor’s dream.  Not a dream that will make you the greatest or the best.  But rather the thing you have longed to do for Christ.

Just like Martin Luther King Jr., we all have a dream.  Do you still remember yours?

STOP!  Right where you are.  Don’t move.

Ask yourself, “What do I long to do for Christ?”

Don’t worry about what you think you can do.  Don’t think about what you are good at.  If money, talent, or resources were not an issue, what would you want to do?

I strongly believe God puts our “calling” on us by putting special desires in our hearts.  It may not make sense at first, but overtime, God pulls it all together.

I love doing research.  I love writing research papers.  Once upon  a time I believed I could use these talents for a career.  Considering  the choices I made early in my life (starting a family at 18) and my education (associates degree), I decided to use my giftings as a paralegal.  If you think about it, it makes sense , right?

Wrong.  I wasn’t happy.  Not even close to it.

I also secretly longed to write.  I am an avid reader, and like most readers, I longed to one day write a book. ( I still do)  And while I was good at writing research papers and such, I knew my writing skills were weak.  I am not good at pursing things in which I can’t succeed.  So, I kept the desire to write close to heart.

But more than anything, I wanted to be another Joyce Meyer, Beth Moore, and (later) Lysa TerKeurst.  But I knew I wasn’t “good” enough.  It wasn’t that I had no skills (which I absolutely did not) that made me doubt, but rather that I wasn’t “Christian” enough.  And to be honest, when God put that desire in my heart, I wasn’t close to ready.

I am not going to lie.  In the beginning of my Christian walk, for about 5 years, I was miserable.  I had these desires in my heart and I couldn’t understand why God would put them there if they weren’t possible.  Why do I want something so bad that is not meant for me?

Oh, I had people tell me it was because God wanted me to “get over myself.”

Others said, “keep your eyes on Jesus and not yourself,” and other things of that nature.

It got to the point where anytime I thought about myself or my dreams I felt guilty.  It felt like a sin.

Then, slowly (and I mean slowly) things started to come together.  I got filled with the spirit.  God gave me this blog.  A ministry (still to come) was born in my heart.  My pastor asked me to preach on occasions.

Those desires that I tried to pray away countless times were the very same desires God gave me to fulfill my calling! 

Do not listen to the “Negative Nancys” that surround you.  If you have a desire or a dream to serve God, then follow it!  Mine, didn’t just fall into my lap.  I had to do the work.  I had to act.  I had to take the leap and start a blog even though I had no idea what I was doing.  I began to voice my dreams to others, which led to opportunities I wouldn’t have had if I remained quite.

[Starting a blog was not easy for someone like me.  I don’t like failure.  I don’t like to do things I am not good at.  I don’t like rejection.  Let’s face it; a blog can be a dangerous thing for someone who battles with comparisons.  There are statics on everything!  If I allow myself to look at those things, it will stop me in my tracks.  So, I simply choose not to look.  My blog is little, with only a little following, but I continue on because God called me to it.  And I finally have peace with myself.]

Exodus 4:10-12 (NIV):

Moses said to the Lord, “Pardon your servant, Lord. I have never been eloquent, neither in the past nor since you have spoken to your servant. I am slow of speech and tongue.”

11 The Lord said to him, “Who gave human beings their mouths? Who makes them deaf or mute? Who gives them sight or makes them blind? Is it not I, the Lord? 12 Now go; I will help you speak and will teach you what to say.”

Do not let your earthly limitations stop you.  God will accomplish His will through you; all you have to do is allow him to use you.

What if Martin Luther King Jr. had refused his calling?  What if he let feelings of inadequacy or fear keep him out of the Civil Rights Movement?

Now, I believe God would have just used someone else to accomplish His purposes, but Mr. King’s life and the lives of his family, friends, and followers would have taken a vastly different course.  Mr. King’s life may have even been longer, but I doubt Mr. King would have found the peace and fulfillment that he found by stepping into his calling.

So, hopefully, today, God reminded you of your dream.  Now, what I would like you to do is determine what the first step would be to fulfilling your dream.  What could you do today to take you closer to your dream?  Now….do it!

Go forth in faith,

Missy

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2 thoughts on “I have a Dream…No, I have a Calling

  1. Thanks Missy! This was incredibly helpful for me to hear right now! I’m actually serving as a missionary for my Church right now, and so often I find myself plagued with the question of whether or not I’m enough, whether the quality and effort of my service is acceptable to the Lord. Those feelings of self-criticism and inadequacy separate me from the love of God and from his Spirit. Reading your blog today was a reminder to me of what I want to do for Christ, and that imbalanced introspection in either extreme is dangerous- that if I want to serve, I need only pursue it. I don’t know if that was your exact intent in writing, but that’s what you gave me today, so thank you. 🙂 I’d love to hear more about your story if you’d want to e-mail or something sometime!

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