Well it is official; I am currently a stay-at-home mom and wife. While it may not make sense to some around me, I know the time was right because God called me to it.
Actually I had felt and heard God tell me to quit my job long before I ever did it; I was just too confused to follow through.
If I heard God’s voice, why was I so hesitant to quit? After all, this is something I had been wanting to do for a long time. One word: doubt.
I started to doubt it was God’s voice I was hearing. Because leaving my job and spending time doing ministry was something I was longing to do, I was afraid my voice was getting in the way.
I looked all around me for confirmation. Yes, there was some confirmation; however, it was not the means I was expecting, which made me doubt a little more.
Let me elaborate:
I would be studying a passage in the Bible and I would pray for confirmation. I would get the verse I needed and just when I was feeling pretty good about the situation, I would read a verse somewhere else (Facebook, Author’s website, another blog) that made me doubt once again.
In another instance, God told me one Sunday that someone had a word for me (that has never happened to me before) and out of the blue, a church member who I have never been able to get a good read on (my discernment does not seem to work on him-nothing good or bad) said he felt called to share what God has laid on his heart. It went something like this:
“Sometimes, if we fail to act when we know God is calling us to do something, we can miss our blessing.”
Sounds pretty good doesn’t it? Then why did I still doubt?
I was still unsure because I would have preferred the message to come from someone who I could actually read seeing as one of my spiritual gifts is discernment. It is very rare for me not to be able to get a good read on someone.
[Now, some believe that because I cannot get a good read on a person, the person must be protected by an evil force. I don’t necessarily agree with that blanket statement. Sometimes this may be true; other times it is not. I have found it best in this type of situation to look at the fruit of a person’s life. Yes, fruit can be faked, but I believe if you pray to God, God will open your eyes to real fruit or fake fruit. I have seen both. Yes, it took me a while to see the fake’s true colors, but God did open my eyes. As for the person in question, there is good fruit. Not perfect fruit, but good fruit that is getting better each day (kind of like me).]
Anyway, you can see why this was not the perfect confirmation I would have liked. There are many people in my church, who when given a word, I would have believed instantly, so I couldn’t understand why God would use the one person I could not read to give me a word. I began to really doubt what I was hearing wasn’t really from God and failed to see that two of Satan’s greatest weapons are doubt and confusion.
You see, just as soon as God gives a little bit of confirmation, Satan wants to get in there and mess things up. We must be careful with our expectations and demands. God is not a little monkey who dances on command, He will not necessarily give you the confirmation in ways you’re expecting or wanting.
A few days after the “word” from the person at church, my spirit spoke to me and said, “Wasn’t it the same voice that has been guiding you all along that told you now was the time?”
Uh oh spaghettios!
Now I really have a problem. Have I been hearing God’s voice all along or have I just been hearing mine?
It only took me a minute or two to get a grip. I was confident that I had been following the voice of God since being filled with the Spirit one and a half years ago. And once I was able to stand firm on that, I got it.
John 10: 14 (NKJ)- I am the good shepherd; and I know My sheep, and am known by My own.
John 10:27 (NKJ)- My sheep hear My voice, and I know them, and they follow Me.
You see, I got so caught up trying to get outside confirmation that I missed the importance of hearing God’s message directly. I know the voice of God. I know when my Spirit is talking and when I am talking, deep down I know.
The lesson here for all of us is that we are the sheep. We know our Shepard’s voice. We don’t need our best friend to confirm what God has directly spoken. If everything was laid out in black and white, why would we need faith? Why would we need trust?
Now, don’t get me wrong confirmation is important, especially when you are not hearing God’s voice clearly. But we can drive ourselves crazy and miss our blessings if we rely more on outside confirmation than the voice of God.
Lord, train our ears to hear your voice clearly and teach us to act faithfully and promptly upon command. In Jesus’ almighty name I pray, AMEN!
Have a blessed day!