Well, it is true, they sure don’t stay little for long. Today, I am happy, and, yet, sad, to be celebrating my middle daughter’s 16th Birthday. I am very proud of the woman she is becoming and I am thankful for such a wonderful blessing, I am just not ready to let her go. The good news is we aren’t quite there yet.
Last week I was reminded that our kids can be our teachers. Yes, I will admit that I sometimes learn from my own children.
As you may be able to see from the pictures above, my daughter has a wonderful smile. She also has an even more wonderful heart. A heart so big it gets broke very easily. In addition, even though she is an absolute beautiful girl from the inside out, she deals with a lot of insecurities. Like myself, she struggles with never feeling good enough. It breaks my heart to see her hurting. That is why last week when she was having trouble with friends, my advice wasn’t very “godly”. I wanted her to retaliate in anger. I wanted for her to stand up for herself. Thank goodness her relationship with God is strong because she knew her Lord and Savior was calling her to humble herself. Even though she wasn’t the only person in the wrong (she did her fair share) she bravely admitted her mistakes and apologized and took the blame. I would like to say that it all worked perfectly. It didn’t.
This is where I thought she would lose faith. When we do things God‘s ways we assume everything will work out. The problem with that is we cannot control the other person. Just because we act Godly doesn’t mean the other person(s) will . [This is not to say the others involved in Kennedy’s situation didn’t act godly-just saying that sometimes when can do all the right things and the situation isn’t going to work out the way we want.] So when the friendship wasn’t restored right away, I expected a poutty, sullen teenager. What I got was a young woman who felt good about herself and at peace with her decision. She had peace because she had done it God’s way. A few days later the relationship was restored, but I think she learned some very important lessons (me too).
Atta girl, Kennedy, way to show your mamma up.
Where did this come from? How was she able to act so mature? Well, of course it came from God: All from God. It came from her desiring more to please her God than please herself. A lesson in humbleness for sure. But also a lesson in the mother/daughter relationship. You see, another lesson to be learned here is that our children are always watching and learning, even if they are not even aware of it.
When I was praying and thanking God for my daughter, He reminded me that my daughters are watching me just as much as I am watching them. They listen to what I say and they look to what I do. They are looking to see if my words match my actions. Luckily for me, I am able humble myself more easily and often than I want to see my daughter humbled. Say what? It is easier for me to humble myself than to see my daughter have to humble herself. I hurt more when my daughter hurts and it is a lot harder for me to make the “godly” choices. He reminded me that my daughter saw me go through this kind of situation a year or so before. She witnessed fellow Christians talking badly about her mother and tearing her down; she saw me cry; she saw me be angry; she saw me humble myself and own up to my own mistakes; she saw me forgive when forgiveness was not recuperated; she saw humbleness.
Now, I am not saying I am the reason she did what she did. God gets the credit here. But, did God use me to prepare her? Maybe.
I am not ashamed to say I learn from my kids. I had my first two very young and they not only helped me grow up and be less selfish, they lead me back to Christ because I wanted them to have the same upbringing I had. I think the song below is fitting for this message.
Have a blessed day!