31 Days to Becoming a Better Wife: Day 25: Divorce-An Acceptable Sin?

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Have you noticed how Christianity is getting a bad rap today? It seems everyone is tolerant of everyone’s beliefs expect Christians’ beliefs. This screams foul to me. It makes me angry. I am not angry just over the ridicule Christians face, but because the younger generations are buying into this propaganda and being led astray, away from the church and away from Christ.

So, what do we do about it and how does it relate to marriage and being a good wife? Please bear with me a moment, I promise this will all come together.

As I began praying about how to win this generation back it became apparent to me that we are fighting on the wrong end of the spectrum. We are fighting to change laws, and at times promoting hate instead of love. Now, don’t get me wrong, we have to speak the whole truth and we can’t change the church to fit the standards of society, I just believe we are going at it wrong. God doesn’t want us to follow his ways because there are laws demanding it, but rather because we love him and trust in him and his truth. It is my opinion that we need to start fighting on home front. We need to start fighting for our families and our marriages. Here it comes….the church is fighting hard against homosexuality and same-sex marriage while completely ignoring the fact that divorce is just as prevalent in the church as it is in the world. This should not be! To me, this is where we are losing the battle. If we get our families back on track, I think these issues we are facing today will not be as big of an issue.

[Now, I am not here to discuss homosexuality. Everyone has their beliefs. All I know for sure is we are called to love above all else and that is what I intend to do. I also know Jesus is for everyone and I never want to stand in the way of anyone coming to Christ. I chose to use homosexuality as an example because it seems to be the sin the whole world is watching and the one on the platform. ]

God’s original design for marriage worked and it worked perfectly. That is until Eve ate that darn apple (or fruit) and God had to lay down the law.

God’s Original Design:

Genesis 2:18-24 (NLT):Then the LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.” 19 So the LORD God formed from the ground all the wild animals and all the birds of the sky. He brought them to the man[c] to see what he would call them, and the man chose a name for each one. 20 He gave names to all the livestock, all the birds of the sky, and all the wild animals. But still there was no helper just right for him.
21 So the LORD God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep. While the man slept, the LORD God took out one of the man’s ribs[d] and closed up the opening. 22 Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib, and he brought her to the man.
23 “At last!” the man exclaimed. “This one is bone from my bone,
and flesh from my flesh! She will be called ‘woman,’ because she was taken from ‘man.’”
24 This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.

The Consequences of the Fall:

Genesis 3:16- 19(NKJ): To the woman He said: “I will greatly multiply your sorrow and your conception; In pain you shall bring forth children; Your desire shall be for your husband,And he shall rule over you.”
17 Then to Adam He said, “Because you have heeded the voice of your wife, and have eaten from the tree of which I commanded you, saying, ‘You shall not eat of it’:
“Cursed is the ground for your sake;In toil you shall eat of it All the days of your life. 18 Both thorns and thistles it shall bring forth for you, And you shall eat the herb of the field. 19 In the sweat of your face you shall eat bread
Till you return to the ground, For out of it you were taken; For dust you are,
And to dust you shall return.”

God’s perfect design for marriage ended upon the partaking of the forbidden fruit. God then had to lay down the law and punish his children. Until I began to really study on marriage, I never noticed how most of the marital problems we see today stem from the consequences mentioned in Genesis 3.

For the woman, she will have painful childbirth, but more, importantly, her “desire will be for her husband and he will rule over her”. Now, I had always thought this meant she would desire a man. She would desire him sexually; however, the NLT specifically writes “And you will desire to control your husband, but he will rule over you.” Furthermore, last week I heard Kay Arthur say that it has been interpreted to mean that her desire will be for her husband’s position. As a consequence of the fall, women will want to be the head of their households and have authority over their husbands even though their husbands are to rule over them. Wow, I would say this definitely is one of the biggest problems in marriages today.

As a consequence of Adam listening to his wife over God, Adam was ordered to work the ground for everything his family would need (food, shelter, financial resources, etc.) You see, prior to the whole forbidden fruit issue, everything was provided for Adam and Eve. There was no work required. Well, as we all know, work and money have been causing strife in marriages ever since.

It all goes back to Genesis 3 and that darn apple (or fruit)!

I know I have said this all before, but I strongly believe that Christians need to get back to God’s design for marriage:

God-head of all
Husband-leader and provider of wife and kids
Wife-husband’s helper and keeper of the home (notice I did not say stay at home mom)

If we, as Christians, accept God’s words as truth, then why is divorce so prevalent in our churches? And why are we turning a blind eye to it? Why are we focusing so hard on changing laws instead of changing hearts and minds?

People, God’s words can’t be any clearer. If we want the promises in the Book, we must be willing to walk in his ways. Furthermore, if we are going to keep using the line, “but the Bible says it is a sin,” then we must address all the areas of sin and not just the ones that aren’t a problem for us. We keep harping on the fact that the Bible says homosexuality is a sin, but we say nothing about divorce. Divorce, in most instances, is a sin. The Bible says so.

Matthew 19:9 (NLT): 9 And I tell you this, whoever divorces his wife and marries someone else commits adultery—unless his wife has been unfaithful.

What happened to those sacred marriage vows…for better, for worse….till death do we part?

Tomorrow, I would like to take a look at those marriage vows and continue on our discussion on rebuilding the sanctity of marriage.

Until tomorrow, stay safe and God bless,

[If you are divorced, please know that I am not writing to condemn you. My intention is to encourage those who are still married to keep fighting and to not give up. My goal is to inform so that those who are divorced can have a different kind of marriage the second time around or those to be married can avoid some of the common pitfalls.]

One thought on “31 Days to Becoming a Better Wife: Day 25: Divorce-An Acceptable Sin?

  1. Missy, what a completely relevant article for these days! Thank you for sharing it. You are right. If the church provided more examples of what God intended love to be, then all these counterfeits would fade into the background, or at least not promote themselves as viable alternatives to God’s best.

    May God bless you and your writings.



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