The problem with starting this writing challenge on the fly is that I did not have any time to really plan out my posts. I have been sort of winging it from the hip. I think I have now come up with a system, but it will not follow the pattern of last week. I am sorry for my disorganization.
One of the new things I would like to do is add a weekly check up into the mix. This will be the day we will go back and review some of the main themes, answer questions, and see how we are doing on our homework. I think Sunday will be the day we do it in the future, but we will go ahead and do this today to test the waters.
Day One: We discussed that the first step in becoming a better or Godly wife is to accept God’s worth as truth. We must be willing to follow the ways of the Lord and not the ways of man. Picking and choosing what we will and will not follow completely negates the Bible. No, we must be willing to accept the Bible in its entirety to be true followers of Jesus Christ. Most of the concepts dealing with our roles as wives are difficult to swallow and take a great deal of humbleness, but I promise you that the benefits of walking in the will of God far outweigh the consequences of following our own wills.
Day two: The world tells women that we are equal and we should be pursuing our own goals and happiness, while God’s word clearly tells us we were created to be helpers to our husbands. The purpose of our creation is to aid our husbands. Yikes! Frightening thought for sure.
Day Three: In coming up with ways to help my husband, it became apparent to me that I have a hard time helping without taking over. Furthermore, I need to be more conscious of the fact that my husband is supposed to be the head of the household. There are many ways in which the husband can lead, but some things I can do to help is to: 1) Allow him to have the final say in decision-making; 2) Encourage him to lead spiritually; 3) Don’t criticize him in front of others (build up and not tear down); 4.) Encourage and support him and his decisions; (5) Pray for him.
Day Four: We took a quiz titled “Are You a Good Wife?” I scored a 4 out of 15. Needless to say, not my finest moment. I encouraged us all to take a look at areas we could work on in the upcoming weeks in order to get a better score at the end of our study.
Day Five: I shared that the three areas I would be working on were: 1.) Complimenting my husband and not talking negatively to our about him; 2) Doing special things for him for no reason; 3) Making my house a place my husband want to come home to.
Day Six: I shared from Lysa TerKeurst’s book, “Capture His Heart” regarding making our homes safe places or havens for our husbands. Men do not want to come home to a messy homes, bratty kids, and nagging wives. Each man has his own definition of a haven and a different wish list and it is our job, as wives, to figure out our husbands wants and needs. After all, a man who enjoys his home is a man who will be in his home.
I have yet to have any questions, but please let me know if there is something I can clear up for you all.
This weeks’ homework included accepting God’s word as truth, finding ways to be our husbands’ helpers, letting our husbands lead, coming up with three things to do for our husbands this week, finding out our husbands’ definitions of haven and come up with a haven game plan.
How are you doing on your homework? I know for me, it is a lot easier coming up the “to-do” list than actually doing it, but I am going to keep on trying.
Some of the homework actually ran together, but here is my breakdown:
1. ) I accepted God’s word as truth. (A+)
2) After reflecting on ways to help my husband, I was overwhelmed by the things I should be doing and it became apparent that I needed to have a conversation with him regarding the priority of things, after all Rome was not built in a day. Unfortunately, I have yet to have that conversation with him. Some of the things I have come up with include:
A. Taking care of the household (clean it, organize schedules, go to the grocery store, etc);
B. Support him emotionally-listen without giving advice in every situation as sometimes he just needs to talk; when making decisions, give opinions but understand he doesn’t have to agree, etc. (D)
3. In regards to letting him lead, I have not really implemented any of the advice given (final say, spiritually lead, encourage and support decisions). It is not that I have failed to do it; I honestly just did not spend much time with my husband last week as it was a crazy busy week followed by him visiting his mother out-of-state over the weekend. That being said, there is one area I failed big time last night and that was in the criticism department. There was a situation that occurred when he was visiting his mother that I did not believe he handled correctly. I tried not to criticize and actually tried to steer the conversation in another direction. Unfortunately that redirection did not work and I ended up voicing my displeasure in front of the kids. On the plus side, I did better on the praying end of things. (D-)
4. I made up my list and this week I will be working on complimenting my husband and not speaking negatively to or about him, doing little special things for him, and making our house a place he wants to come home to.
5. It is my belief that my husband would like to come home to a clean house, with every bed made, and candles burning (with a strong priority on the kids’ chores). He would also like it to have a kitchen full of groceries with a dinner menu planned. He also appreciates having a family calendar organized so he knows the plan for the upcoming weeks. I have gotten a jump-start on the clean house because during the Proverbs 31 Woman study I developed a new cleaning system that seems to be working well. My husband has a crazy shift, so it helpful for me to do a lot of the household cleaning in the morning before work as he gets home before I do. I must add that is impractical for me to leave candles burning seeing as it would burn down our home, but I need to make it a point to buy lots and lots of candles and burn them throughout the evening. Remember, do whatever works best for you and your situation.
I did plan a menu and get to the grocery store this week, but I need to work harder on the activity calendar and the kids’ chores. (C+).
As you can see, I made a little progress, but I still have much more to do. How did you fair this week? Where ever you are on the grading scale, just keep on trying each and every day. I find it helpful to make a list and I encourage you all to do the same, but once again do whatever works best for you.