31 Days to Becoming a Better Wife: Day 2: Created To Be A Helper

Who hoo, we’ve made it to day two! May not seem like a big accomplishment for some of you, for others it truly is. As we discussed yesterday, overcoming worldly influences and accepting God’s words for truth is not necessarily easy. I spent too many years flat our ignoring the word of God when it came to my role as a wife because God’s ways seemed harsh, unrealistic, unfair, and just wrong. The truth is that we cannot pick and choose what we like and want to follow out of the Bible. No, we must accept every faucet of the Bible and learn to walk in all of his ways, even if we don’t like or understand the ways.

One thing I definitely learned this year is that following God is a choice. Actually it is a series of choices. Every day is filled with situations or circumstances that require us to make Godly choices. Being a good wife or a Godly wife is no different. Every day we must choose to be a good wife; choose to put our husbands first; choose to put God first.

Yesterday we covered the first step of accepting God’s word as truth, so today we will look at the first scripture that references our role as wives.

Genesis 2:18 (NKJ): Then the LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.

God saw that it was not good for Adam to be alone, so he created Eve to be his help meet, helper, other half, and more controversy, completer. It is true. Women were created to come alongside their husbands and help them to become the men God created them to be, and help them to accomplish their purpose of this Earth.

Two things really jump out at me in Genesis 2:18. One, women were made to be helpers. Two, women were made for men. Yep, that one took me by surprise too, but we will get to that in a minute.

What does it mean for the woman to be a helper? I don’t know about you all, but I see a helper as someone who comes alongside someone else who is in charge and helps them to complete or fulfill a task. It is kind of like my job as a paralegal or assistant. My job consists of tasks that help my boss complete her own tasks. My goals or tasks are ultimately the goals or tasks of my boss as we are working together for the common good of our clients.

The same should go for my marriage as well. Unfortunately for my whole family, it has not worked this way, not even close. Why? I bought into the lie that my husband was to complete me. I bought into the lies that my husband was made for me and to love me by fulfilling my needs. Not only does Genesis 2 tell us that we were created for men, but 1 Corinthians says so as well:

1 Corinthians 11:9 (NLT): And man was not made for woman, but woman was made for man.

I know this is not an easy pill to swallow, but remember yesterday we agreed to believe God’s word to be truth. His word does not get any clearer than this; we were created for our husbands. Now, it is not as bad as it seems, so bear with me for a moment.

Society has led us to believe that if we fulfill our biblical roles as wives, we are somehow second class citizens, but that is a lie straight from the mouth of Satan!

Genesis 2:24 (NLT): This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.

God clearly intends for man and women to united and become one. Yes, they are to become one in the flesh, but also of the mind and heart. Once where there were two separate and different people should now become one unit. One unit with common goals and dreams. The husband is the head of the household and the one leading; therefore, they should now be working together towards the goals he chooses. The devil has broken so many marriages by getting society to believe that women should be chasing their own goals, careers, and ambitions. It is like both sides are competing against each other to see who is top dog and neither one realizes they are both loosing. Why is it so hard for us women to accept that the men should lead? Why does that automatically make us second class citizens? After all, there is a hierarchy almost ever where you look in our society. There is a hierarchy in our jobs, government, and even in church or religious organizations. Does it really make me a “less than” if I am only a deacon and not a pastor? [I am neither, just in case you are wondering] No, of course it doesn’t! Why? Because each position is an important part of the church and each role needs to be fulfilled in order for the church to run efficiently. What makes our marriages any different?

Today, on day two, I want us to reflect on our role as helper. What are we doing to help our husbands? Are we working together for a common goal or dream? Do we even know the goals or dreams of our husbands? I am ashamed I don’t know my husbands goals or dreams. I am betting I can guess, but I have never taken the time to ask him.

Ladies, God made us specifically for our husbands. He made us with the gifts and abilities to help our men become the men God created them to be. How are you fulfilling your calling? How are you supporting your husband? I don’t mean to go back into the Proverbs 31 study, especially for those who have already read it, but there so much good information there:

Proverbs 31:11-12 (NLT): Her husband can trust her, and she will greatly enrich his life. 12 She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.

We need to be enriching our husbands’ lives and bringing them good everyday with thoughtful words and actions. Our words honestly have the power to either make or break our husbands. We can be our husbands’ biggest supporters or their biggest critics, it’s our choice; it’s our words. Let us make it a point today to not only reflect on ways to better help and support our husbands, but to speak only words of encouragement.

I would like to take this time and just share something a little personal. I spent most of my marriage life living as though my husband was created to fulfill me, help me, serve me. No matter what he said or did it was not enough and never good enough. I always felt empty. My husband not only did for me, but he did for our kids, my family, his family, and our church. What I failed to see for way to long is that while he was “doing” for everyone else no one, including myself, was “doing” a whole lot of doing for him. I am grateful God convicted on it before it was too late. I am thankful my marriage was not another statistic. Thank you God!

Until tomorrow, God bless!

Missy

Homework Reminder: Think of ways we can help our husbands, talk to our husbands about their goals and dreams, and speak only words of encouragement.

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