This post will be closely linked to yesterday’s, so if you haven’t read it, it might be helpful to go back and do so before continuing on.
Yesterday, I confessed that my connection with God was not feeling as strong as it had been a few weeks and months before. I went on to say that I had checked my heart for unconfessed sin and unforgiveness and felt I was clear in those areas. I also stated that I had been in the word and didn’t think that was the problem either. I speculated that due to some relational issues and such, I might be under a spiritual attack. I was honestly confused and desperately searching for answers.
[Now, it is true that I am facing a serious spiritual battle, but this was not the issue. I had to deal with this issue to be prepared for the spiritual battle that is to come.]
Last night, as promised, I took it all and laid it at the feet of Jesus. I prayed, cried, searched, prayed some more, opened my heart, and listened. I got my answer and I can’t believe I missed it. Sometimes we can over analyze things and miss the obvious. It was not disobedience as I feared. It was not disappointment as I dreaded. I was just not opening my heart as I should and spending quality time with God. Yes, I was in his word, but I was there out of obligation and not thirst, hunger, or love. I was putting in my time, doing what was expected. In addition, my “worldly” interests started taking up more and more of my time once again. For the last year, my TV time has been at a minimum, but over the last few weeks , I began escaping through the tube more than I knew I should. I began entertaining the thought of starting to read secular books again. I even went as far as getting one from the library. [I am not saying it is wrong for Christians to read secular books, please see previous posts, it is just wrong for me right now in regards to my personal growth.] I truly believe this was a lesson from God showing what would happen if I started putting him on the back burner like I did before.
You see, my connection with God was strong because I was nurturing the relationship. I was spending quality time with him, putting him first in my life, and making Godly choices in all areas of my life. It truly is a slippery slope. Once I put God to the side for some “me time”, it became easier to do it again..and then again..and again. Then before I knew it, I found myself wondering what happened. Can some one say DUH!!!
Thank you God for that wake up call. I never want to go back to the person I was before I was walking in the Spirit. I pray that I never forget. Thank you all for your prayers. God is always faithful! Can I get an Amen?
Until next time, stay safe and God bless,