As we discussed yesterday, a virtuous wife/Proverbs 31 Woman is called to bring her husband good and not bad all the days of her life. This seems easy enough, but sometimes we need some practical application to help reinforce our knowledge. I have come up with a simple list of things I need to do or work on to become a better wife and I think you will find it useful as well.
1. Change of Mindset:
First and foremost, we must make the decision to be virtuous wives. Often times, this will call for us to change our mindsets or change our thinking. As I mentioned before, a lot of marriage are not designed as God intended. We, the wives, must decide to play the role of wife and helpmate. This is not always an easy pill to swallow; however, in order to accomplish God’s will for our lives, we must follow God’s word in every area of our lives.
I would like to point out here that being the helpmates to our husbands does not equate to being their door mats as husbands have certain responsibilities to their wives as well. Yes, I realize that just because we decide to be biblical wives does not necessarily mean that our husbands will automatically become biblical husbands, but when we stand before the Lord we will be responsible for our own actions. I don’t know about you, but I know I am looking forward to the day when my father says “Well done good and faithful servant, with you I am well pleased!” I truly believe if we are the wives God has called us to be, he will honor and bless us. It may not be while we are here on earth, but our efforts will not be in vain.
The bottom line is we must choose to be obedient to the word of God and accept our roles as God designed. We cannot be obedient to his word if we don’t know his word; therefore it is important that we read our bible. When I decided I was going to be a better wife, the first thing I did was research scripture on being a wife (this is how we got here in Proverbs-hehe). I encourage you all to do the same. Furthermore, I recommend you start a notebook and make a list of scriptures and how you can use said scriptures to make you a better wife.
*Please note that there is grace here as we don’t live under The Law; however, we do live under the authority of God and should try our hardest to live as he instructed.
2. Be Intentional:
Change does not come overnight and rarely does it come easy. We must be intentional in our actions in order to bring about change. What do I mean when I say be intentional? Well, we must make decisions every day that will bring about the change we want; therefore , if we want to bring good to our husbands, we must make decisions or choices that will cause him good. I realize that sounds relatively easy, but for someone like me who is used to making decisions on my own wants and needs, those decisions do not come automatically; therefore, I must make intentional choices until it becomes more automatic. When faced with a choice, I must ask myself “will this benefit my husband?”
Ladies, we need to be praying for our husbands every day. I know how much encouragement I get when others pray for me, so I know it encourages my husband. I have decided to pray every morning for my husband before I rise from bed. I chose this specific time of day because I don’t want the business of the day to get in the way. I also encourage you to pray for yourselves as well. Pray God will give you the knowledge , strength, and faith to be a virtuous woman.
4. Be Careful with Your Words:
My mouth has gotten me in more trouble more than I can count and judging by how many scriptures refer to this topic, I am not alone. Hawk Nelson’s lyrics are correct, “Word can build you up, words can break you down, start a fire in your heart or put it out.” The words we say to our husband absolutely affect how they are as a person, husband, and father, so we must choose our words wisely. Let’s look at some scripture references regarding this subject:
Proverbs 21:23- Whoever keeps his mouth and his tongue keeps himself out of trouble;
Proverbs 15:1-A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger;
Proverbs 18:21-Death and life are in the power of the tongue;
Proverbs 25:28-A man without self-control is like a city broken into and left without walls;
Proverbs 17:27-28-A truly wise person uses few words; a person with understanding is even-tempered. Even fools are thought wise when they keep silent; with their mouths shut, they seem intelligent.
James 3:6-And the tongue is a flame of fire. It is a whole world of wickedness, corrupting your entire body. It can set your whole life on fire, for it is set on fire by hell itself.
James 1:26-if you claim to be religious but don’t control your tongue, you are fooling yourself, and your religion is worthless.
Ephesians 4:29-Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.
Matthew 12:36-37-And I tell you this, you must give an account on judgment day for every idle word you speak. The words you say will either acquit you or condemn you.”
Psalm 19:14-May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing to you, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer.
I think these scriptures are clear and to the point and don’t really need any elaboration. However, there was one another scripture that stuck me in the heart:
Proverbs 21:19- It’s better to live alone in the desert than with a quarrelsome, complaining wife.
Without a doubt, I could be described as a quarrelsome and complaining wife, how about you? I think my biggest issue with being quarrelsome is my need to always be right or get my way. For some reason I got it in my head that my needs come before my husband and if my husband really loved me, he would give into me. It sounds absolutely crazy when I write it out, but it is oh so very true. Right now I am working on putting my husbands wants before my own. In doing this, I am trying to participate in activities he enjoys rather than activities I enjoy and just trying to focus more on his interests and hobbies. For example, my husband just got a new motorcycle. That in and of itself is a big step as motorcycles are not cheap and I know a thousand different places I would rather spend the money. However, my husband grew up riding motorcycles and I recognized how important this was to him. In addition to purchasing a motorcycle, I am also riding on the motorcycle, which is something I swore I would never do. Why? Well, because I see how much he enjoys it and I knew he longed to share it with me. I also acknowledged to myself that I haven’t always been the best wife and this was one way I could show him just how much I love him. I am not telling you all this to brag on how wonderful I am because I am anything but wonderful, but to show you some practical ways to implement this teaching.
5. Act on God’s nudges:
I couldn’t even begin to count the number of times I felt God calling me to do something nice for my husband, but I just ignored it. Why? Sometimes it was because we didn’t have the money, or it wasn’t very practical, but more often than not I just didn’t want to put in the effort it would take to accomplish it. I had other things I wanted to do with my free time , other things I wanted to spend my money on, or I was holding on to anger for the things my husband had never done for me. Whatever the reasons, I missed out on blessings that my father had for my husband and myself by not following through. So, I am vowing today to pay more attention and acting on those little nudges.
Dear Lord, thank you Lord for your grace when we fall short in being the wives we are called to be. We are asking for your direction and guidance as we step out in faith and become better wives. We ask protection from the enemy as we know he wants to keep us bound in disobedience and protection from our own selfish wants and desires. Today, we are claiming victory over our enemy and over our past failures! My we not only bring glory and honor to our husbands but to our Lord, Jesus Christ. In Jesus name, we pray, AMEN!
Until next time, stay safe and God bless,