A Help Not A Hindrance

I apologize for the delay in my post, but yesterday was a very busy day and I didn’t even get the chance to glance at blogs let alone write anything. I am trusting you all had a great weekend and are ready to jump back into our study of the Proverbs 31 Woman.

Last week we looked at verse 10 and discussed the definitions of a virtuous woman and why she is precious. Today, I would like to take a closer look at verse 11.

Proverbs 31: 11 (NLT)“Her husband can trust her, and she will greatly enrich his life.”

Proverbs 31:11 (NIV) “Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value.”

Proverbs 31:11 (NKJ) “The heart of her husband safely trusts her; So he will have no lack of gain.”

Proverbs 31:11 (KJ) “The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.”

The exact wording of verse 11 varies in each translation, but it all boils down to the same thing: A virtuous woman’s husband can trust her and she will be a benefit to him; she will be a help, not a hindrance.

“Her husband can trust her”

I have found that there are two main reasons why a husband can trust his virtuous wife: (1) She is a woman of God; (2)She is financially responsible.

I believe that a Proverbs 31 Woman’s husband can trust her to be a woman of God and to carry herself accordingly, which allows her to carry out her duties faithfully. Below are a few scripture references dealing with the duties of wives. I think it is important for women to get back to being Godly wives and we can’t do that if we don’t familiarize ourselves with his word.

1 Peter 3:1-6: “Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct. Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious. For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, …”

Colossians 3:18: “Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.”

1 Corinthians 11:3 : “But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God.”

1 Corinthians 11:7-12 “For a man ought not to cover his head, since he is the image and glory of God, but woman is the glory of man. 8 For man was not made from woman, but woman from man. 9 Neither was man created for woman, but woman for man. 10 That is why a wife ought to have a symbol of authority on her head, because of the angels.[a] 11 Nevertheless, in the Lord woman is not independent of man nor man of woman; 12 for as woman was made from man, so man is now born of woman. And all things are from God.”

Ephesians 5:22-33 (ESV) “22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. 25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.[a] 28 In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church,30 because we are members of his body. 31 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” 32 This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. 33 However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.”

1 Corinthians 7:34 (NLT): “..But a married woman has to think about her earthly responsibilities and how to please her husband.”

So, why can a husband trust his wife if she is a woman of God? Well, because a woman of God will strive to be what Christ calls her to be. She will submit to her husband; she will respect her husband; her husband will be the head of the household; she will try to please her husband. Moreover, a Godly wife will strive to be all God wants her to be and her husband will be confident in her and not have to worry that she will dishonor or embarrass him.

After studying the “duties” of wives, I have come to the conclusion that the best thing I can do for my husband and my marriage is to show respect for my husband because in doing so I am not only honoring my husband but I am honoring my God. In addition, if I am showing respect for my husband, a lot of the above mentioned will fall into place.

“So that he have no need of spoil,”

This line may not sound familiar to most and is one of the reasons later versions have tried to simplify it. The word that got me stuck was “spoil”. Spoil is another word for plunder or booty. It most often referred to a booty collected after a solider defeated his enemy and gathered everything of value from the deceased and thereby gaining riches from the battle. This term, as used in biblical time, may not apply in the literal sense today; however, we can use it to say that a virtuous women is so good with the resources provided that her husband does not have to seek other means [outside of employment] or at the expense of others to provide for his family.

No matter, which translation you use, a virtuous wife is a financial asset and not a liability. That may seem like a “no-brainer” to some of you, but there are a lot of women (and men too) who struggle with this aspect greatly. We have become a society where more is better and we are constantly struggling to keep up with the Joneses. We have come to believe that we are to drive brand new vehicles, dress the whole family in designer clothes, and have kids participate in every sport team imaginable. Now, I know that not everybody lives this way, but sadly more and more families are living a lifestyle they cannot afford and their families are paying the consequences. I believe, statistically, money trouble is the second leading cause of divorce in this country. Since it plays such a large role in our marriages, we must make financial responsibility a top priority. I encourage you to take some time today and re-evaluate your finances and see if there are any issues that need to be addressed. Be mindful that our husbands are supposed to be able to trust that we will make wise decisions with the resources they have provided( as well as any we earn ourselves).

I would like to take just a minute to touch on the issue of women in the workforce. As we read further into Proverbs 31, you will find that women have been helping provide since the beginning of time; may be not in the same faucet we do today, but they still contributed to the household resources. The big difference is that the women from biblical times still followed God’s design for a marriage and submitted to their husbands and let their husbands lead the family. I know I just upset a few, but it is the truth. As a woman I am called to submit to my husband and my husband is to be the leader of the home. PERIOD! I don’t like it anymore than the rest of you, but it is about time we got honest, not just with each other, but ourselves as well. We all know what God has designed for marriages; it is time we started acting on it and becoming the women and wives God has called us to be. Let me reinforce this: I am not a submissive wife; I am not yet a virtuous wife. I am not writing about this issue because I got it all figured out. I am on this journey with you. I am not preaching to you; God is preaching to me and you’re just along for the ride. [Lucky you-hehe]

Thank you Lord for calling my attention to this matter. It is not an issue we women like to hear, but oh how we need it. Help us be the women and wives you’ve called us to be today, tomorrow and every day. Thank you for standing by us when we fall short, and helping us get back up when we fall. I know we can be Proverbs 31 Women because your words says it. So today I am claiming victory over the bondage of pride and I vow to become a better wife. In Jesus’ name I pray, AMEN!

Until next time, stay safe and God Bless,

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