“Focus” Friday


As I may have mentioned before, I am in the band “Focus” (you can find us on Facebook under Focus-Music with a message). Okay, I was just kidding about the “may have” part because we all know I talk about my band a lot. I do so because it is important to me. It is my ministry. It is part of who I am. I love it; I may not always like it or my band mates, but I love what we do and I love them. I am an amateur song writer and I love sharing my stories through song, so I have decided that the last Friday of every month will be “Focus Friday”, where I share some songs I have written and the stories behind them. I really wanted to share a recording of the songs as well, but for now I have decided to share just the lyrics because I want this to be about the words and the stories. The last thing I want is for people to think I am doing this to promote our band. Let me be clear: “Focus” is a ministry to lead other people to Christ or into a deeper more intimate relationship with Christ. It is not our intention to become more than what we are-humble servants, sharing the word of Christ through our gifts of music.

I know most of you don’t know me, but I am an open book to most people. What you see is what you get. I don’t or can’t hide my feelings well. If I am mad, it is written all over my face. When I am sad, the tears will just fall. If I think something, I usually say it (not recommended). I think you are getting the picture. At times, this causes me great troubles, but, often, it helps me out. Why am I like this? I think it is because I don’t like surprises. I have been friends with people before to only find out later that they were not the people they claimed to be and I am left disappointed. You know the saying, “I like them less the more I get to know them.” Yah, it is often true. I feel like if I lay everything out on the table up front, there is nothing to be disappointed in later. Once again, I realize this is not the best approach and I’m working on moderation.

I have this approach with God too. I know..shocker! When I tell people how honest I am with God they get all self-righteous. How can you talk to God that way? Don’t you have any reverence for God? Let me just say that I have great reverence for God, but I have come to the place where the more honest I am with God, the more he reveals to me. I do tell God exactly how I feel because he knows anyway. So, if I am mad, I tell him. If I am disappointed, I tell him. I have even gone to him in the midst of a temper tantrum (not saying this is a good thing to do), but he was strong enough to handle it. I went to him hurt, angry, and frustrated; I left with hope, peace, and comfort. Do not be afraid to go to God with anything and I mean anything.

Below are the lyrics to my first song. I apologize, for it is not my best work, but it is probably my most honest. I will admit that I pulled this song from our band line-up because I was embarrassed by some of the forthrightness, but I know it pleased God. You see, I wrote this song at my lowest. I was far from God at this point but I longed to get back. I couldn’t see pass my circumstances. I had lost my hope that I could be more than who I was. I blamed myself. I blamed my church. I blamed God. You will see at the beginning of the song I am completely broken, but through my heart to heart with God, I start to draw closer to him. We always joke that I write songs where I start off broken but by the end of the song I am fixed. My song writing style is really a reflection of my time with God. When I take my burdens to him, I leave free because I no longer have those burdens to carry.

Focus 2
Carry On

Tears fall from my eyes, as my hope slowly dies
And no matter what I do, it never seems enough for you

Lost, wondering why, I’m so broken inside
I am starting to resent this distance I feel from you

You are not alone, if you feel like letting go
I just want you to know
Carry on, Carry on

Ashamed of what I’ve become, sin has made my heart numb
And I don’t know what to do, help me find my way to you

I know deep in my soul, only you can make me whole
Even if I don’t understand, I’m reaching out with both hands

You are not alone, if you feel like letting go
I just want you to know
Carry on, Carry on

Carry on

Once again, this is not my best work, but I felt called to share it with you because it was a turning point in my walk with the Lord. You see, I was completely honest. I held nothing back. God heard me, drew me close, and we have been walking together ever since. So, please do not hold back from God. Get honest and I promise he will use it to better you and your relationship.

Focus 4

Until next time, stay safe and God bless,



One thought on ““Focus” Friday

  1. i appreciate your candidness. We all have those feelings. We may as well speak our mind, God knows our thoughts anyway. Your being able to express your feelings help the rest of us recognize the same emotions within ourselves, and recognize the need to admit and seek a closer walk with God. Thank you.

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